cullens do wifeswap
by lisette aria cullen
Summary: sequel to new member. if you want to understand the characters properly you should read new member. when Emmett signs esme up for wife swap he doesnt think they'll get in, but luck is against him. they do get in! what sorts so trouble will the cullens make for the new wife and will she like them or not. read and find out!
1. need to read author note

**This is a sequel to new member! It is a parody of wife swap also! You don't necessarily need to read new member to understand this but it does have Jackson and aria in it.**

**Recap: Jackson is jaspers biological brother from when they were human, he was also changed by Maria and served in a new-born army, he has bites like jaspers he looks around 14-15 years old.**

**Aria stumbled across the cullens and they took her in, she was running away from aro and the rest of the volturi. She is an immortal child but can control herself, she looks around 12-13 years old.**

**Jackson and aria are in love and they are mates. That's as much as I can explain without saying the whole plot of new member so go read it. **

**Lizette XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOX **


	2. emmett!

EM POV

"EMMETT MCARTY CULLEN" I hear Edward shout. Damn I'm in big trouble, hopefully he'll calm down later though.

"I'm coming" I run down the stairs Rose, Jackson, Jasper, Nessie, Bella and Aria all giving me questioning looks, Alice knows what I've done –I don't regret it either- and she's smiling like she's going shopping, which definitely isn't the case.

"What is this?!" he grits through his teeth, waving a white, business like envelope

"A letter?" I raise an eyebrow, Rose give and exasperated sigh and so did Edward

"You signed esme up for wife swap!" if he was human his face would be purple

"Emmett you imbecile" jasper shouts, glaring at me

"What the hell Emmett" Aria and Jackson shout

"Tell me this is a joke?" Bella gives me evil eyes. Rose, I can see, is way too angry to say anything

"I didn't know we would get through" he shrugs. Esme and Carlisle walk in looking confused

"What's all the noise?" esme asks

"Emmett signed you up for wife swap!" Nessie, my little prankster blurted out, damn

"You what?!" Carlisle shouted, now that's rare

"Guys calm down I saw it, everything's going to be alright" Alice says something at last

"no it isn't esme is going to go away for 2 weeks and we are going to be stuck with another woman, a human woman, and she's going to be telling us what to do and stuff, it is not going to be alright" aria shout, aria watches a lot of wife swap and she was the one who gave me the idea…well she didn't say it directly she was just watching it one time and the thought came into my head.

"Chill your beans, people" I say, she gives me a nasty glare, ouch that hurt, my other little prankster siding with the grown up side

"We will not chill our beans" Edward retorts

"Why, Emmett?" Carlisle asks confused

"I didn't realise I made the video so interesting…"

"Wait…video, let's watch it" Carlisle interrupts me

C pov

We really need to keep a closer watch on what Emmett is doing. We go to the formal living room to watch the video Emmett made for wife swap; I honestly still can't believe he could be so…so…well…stupid.

"Hello I'm Carlisle Cullen and this is my house" an amazing impression of me starts talking and the screen shows a picture of our house "this is my beautiful wife esme, she does everything and we all love her for it" is shows esme gardening then cooking "this is me in my office, I am the best doctor in central London and I work at the local hospital, I'm a workaholic" Emmett, really? now they are going to think I'm self-righteous, even if it was true, that boy really doesn't think "esme and I have adopted 9 teenagers, this is Emmett the most best son a guy could have and our gorgeous Rosalie the clear beauty of our family" I would totally not say that I don't have favourites, Emmett is so delusional "this is Bella and Edward, they are suicidal teens and are very quiet" this isn't how I would describe my children "and these are Alice who is a hyper active pixie and jasper who is a troubled teen" it shows a picture of alice jumping up and down and jasper reading "these are Aria and Jackson who are the most awesome kids I've ever met but Aria is a pyromaniac and Jackson is just as troubled as jasper… and last but not least is reneesme the funniest little sea monster I've ever came across" it shows Aria making a bonfire, which looks pretty odd then it shows Nessie laughing

"Emmett what kind of video is that?!" Edward shouts at him

"Calm down Eddie" Emmett puts his hand up palms forward in surrender

"I will not calm down my name is Edward not Eddie not Ed just Edward, get it... good!" Edward shouts again, Emmett really serves to piss him off

"Emmett, we are not suicidal teens" Bella says slightly calmer but I could see she was angry

"And I'm not hyper active" Alice interjects

"Me and Jackson are not troubled" jasper rolls his eyes

"Yeah I get it maybe I'm a pyro but you didn't need to say it to the whole world" Aria glares at him, something she learned from rose

"And I wouldn't speak like that or favourite you and Rose" I shake my head

"I can't believe they let us in with that video" esme laughs

"As I said this can be a good thing" Alice goes on

"Mmm Alice has a point, we can learn how real human families are like" esme say, I understand why Alice is so for it now

"And we might learn something from the new wife that comes" Alice adds

"Okay yes you guys have a point but Emmett is still in big trouble" I say sternly, this was going to be a hard 2 weeks without my darling esme.

**A/N thanks for reading. I will be updating on Wednesdays maybe not every week but I will try, because I have another book I'm writing on wattpad (my name is lizziej121) and I have school and homework which sucks. I will also be doing it from different povs (point of views) it will just be their initials. So you can understand here they are (for the Cullen's) :**

**Carlisle= c**

**Esme=es**

**Edward=e**

**Emmett=em**

**Jasper=j**

**Jackson=ja**

**Alice=al**

**Aria=a**

**Nessie=n**

**Bella=b**

**Rosalie=r**

**So that's for the Cullen's I will do the other ones for the other family in the next chapter. I need girls and boys names if you have any good ones please pm me or put it in your review. I will pick the ones I want and the people that gave them to me will get a shout out. Thanks**

**Lizette-Addison XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**


	3. swap and get to know

**A/N thank you to ****4-feargodalone-6 for following. Here we go the next chapter, enjoy!**

S pov

"Kamilla, get the post" I hear my daughter run down the stairs, how many times did I have to tell that child, she never listens. She hands me the post

*slap*

"No running!" I shout, I see her eyes moisten, but she blinks away the tears. Good. "Get dinner ready"

"Yes ma'am" she bows her head and walks in the direction of the kitchen. I look through the letters, bills, bills, wife swap, bank, work... wait what, wife swap. I rip the letter open.

Dear Mrs. Hasse (**A/N pronounced ass) **

We are writing to inform you that wife swap has accepted your form and video. You will be appearing on wife swap on Friday the 4th of September. Thank you for your participation.

From the wife swap team

I got in; tomorrow I will be on my way to help some poor, needy family. Since my family was so perfect I had applied to wife swap to show how perfect we were and to help another family be slightly better than they are.

"Jack, kamilla come here" I shout from the living room, my husband and my daughter enter the room

"I have been accepted into wife swap, so I will be going to help a needy family tomorrow" I inform them

"That great Suzanne" my husband smiles

"Well done mother" kamilla says, I shot a glare at her, my husband I believe that children should be seen and not heard.

"Bye bye, darling" I hug my husband the next day as the limo pulls up, quickly hug my daughter too

"Behave" I say sternly and wave at both of them.

It was a long drive; I slept and read and ate and slept and read and ate. I started looking out the window when we went into town, the other family must live in a small apartment or something. It confused me when we completely past the town and started driving down a little road, maybe they lived in a little shack or hut, I started regretting signing up. Until the driver pulled up at a ginourmous house... no mansion, it was four stories high with the most beautiful glass balconies, the front lawn looked like it had taken a decade to do, it was magnifi- way too over done. My simple two story house was better than this, these people were obviously materialistic. I walked into the house and it was as beau- over done as the outside. Most of the bedrooms seemed to have different designs and all of the ones that looked lived in -except one- had both male and female clothes in them, strange. I go downstairs to the kitchen and settle to read the manual.

_Hello welcome to the Cullen household, I'm esme Cullen, I'm an interior designer so I work from home, I do the house work and cook I also garden. My husband Carlisle Cullen is a doctor at the local hospital; he works very early to very late and is not always home for dinner. Together we have adopted 9 teenagers, they do not have restrictions of any kind and do not do work around the house. They are allowed anywhere but they have to tell us where they are going first. Our kids are;_

_Emmett 18 he is the biological older brother of Alice a mischief maker and loves pranking_

_Rosalie 18 she is the biological twin to jasper and older sister to Jackson. She won't warm up to you quickly but give her time_

_Jasper 18 he is the biological twin to Rosalie and older brother to Jackson. He is generally quiet but paired with Emmett is big trouble._

_Alice 17 is the biological younger sister to Emmett. She is very energetic and loves shopping._

_Edward 17 is the biological older brother of both aria and reneesme. He is the most sensible, along with Bella; he is also a musician and can play piano exceptionally well._

_Isabella 17 is very quiet but Emmett brings out her loudness, she likes reading and prefers to be called bella_

_Reneesme 16 is the biological younger sister of Edward and the biological older sister of aria. She can play pranks but she is very sweet. Edward is teaching her piano._

_Jackson 14 is biological younger brother of Rosalie and jasper. He is generally quiet but can be a prankster too._

_Aria 12 is biological younger sister to reneesme and Edward. She is likes reading but is as much as a prankster as Emmett._

_I home school both aria and Jackson the rest go to school._

_We let our children date and they are all together here is the pairings: Emmett and Rosalie, jasper and Alice, Edward and Bella, Jackson and aria, reneesme's boyfriend is in America so it's a long distance relationship. I hope you will enjoy your stay at our home. From esme _

This family is crazy, these children are spoilt. Dating they're siblings –adoptive or not- is disgusting, dating at 12 alone shouldn't be allowed.

Es pov

"goodbye everyone" I call as I wave walking towards the limo, I had just kissed my husband and hugged my children, I am really going to miss them over the next 2 weeks, it was going to be hard.

"Bye esme, have a nice time" they all call back waving, I could see the sadness in their eyes even Emmett's

"And I'm sorry" he shouts back. Emmett will be Emmett. I get into the limo prepared for the long journey; I read at a human speed, it was tedious to say the least. Finally the driver stops at a small two story house. With my perfect eyes I could see the cream paint peeling off revealing some of the green it used to be. I went inside the house, I could see it was quite old, it was a boring yellowing cream colour, brown carpet, every room was the same except a baby pink room with a yellow bedspread and pink carpet, the room was quite bare, it must be the child's room. I go down stairs to looks at the manual;

_Hello my name is Suzanne hasse; I live my perfect life with my husband jack hasse and my daughter kamilla hasse. I am a bank sectary and my husband is an engineer. Kamilla is twelve and she takes the bus to school and back, straight away when she comes home she must start cleaning the house and sometimes the garden, when my husband or I get home she is to start cooking. Kamilla must go to her after school clubs every day. She can only wear approved clothing and only be friends with the people we approve of._

_The approved clothing is: below the knee skirts or dresses, no high heels except for church, no belly tops, and her hair must be up in a pony tail or pig tails or down with a head band. She is not allowed to date. We go to church every Monday, Wednesday and Sunday. I hope I can help your needy and horrible family._

_From Suzanne hasse_

I didn't like this woman already, how dare she call my family needyand horrible without even meeting them. I hope they give her a hard time. I hear a car pull up on the gravel outside; I hear the heavy breathing of two people, one of them obviously a child.

"Hello, I'm jack hasse and this is my daughter kamilla" i nearly snort at his name, honestly what kind of parents would call their child that. I can see jack's eyes going gooey, men these days.

"I'm esme Cullen, it's nice to meet you" I shake his hand and hug kamilla, she looks surprised at first, then she blushed just like how Bella blushed when she was human. We go through to the living room

S pov

I hear voices coming down the hallway and I stand up to go and greet the family.

"I am not going shopping with you, Alice" a female's frustrated voice shouted

"But Bella, you never come shopping" supposedly Alice whines, I hear low chuckling too "you're just going to be stuck with the boys because all of us are going shopping" she adds

"I'd rather be stuck with the boys than be with you shopping" she laughs

"Alice I'm sorry but you can't go shopping" a man's voice says "but you can go on Monday"

"that's not enough time, I need the whole day" she whines

"then have the whole day" the man's voice says nonchalantly

"Thank-you dad" I hear... her dad was letting her off school to go shopping, talk about spoilt.

They enter the kitchen, 10 beautiful people are in front of me, they all had the strangest golden eyes, they were beautiful... surely no one could be this beautiful, maybe they had plastic surgery. It was clear who Carlisle was, he looked older and more mature than the rest of them, he was hot.

"I'm Carlisle" he shook my hand

"I am Suzanne hasse" the children laughed, how childish

"Children introduce yourselves" he steps aside. The children hesitate until a hyper little pixie with short hair sighed and shook her head

"Im Alice" she bounces up to me, so this was the one that wanted to go shopping

"Jasper, ma'am" the blonde guy next to her nods his head, he looks like he's on drugs, urrgh creepy

"Edward" a bronze haired guy shakes my hand

"Bella" a brunette nods, this was the one arguing, she must not like shopping

"my names reneesme, friends and family call me nessie but your neither so call me reneesme" a girl that looks like a mix of Edward and Bella comes up, did they have a child... no that wouldn't work, I dismiss the thought, but that child is rude

"Jackson" mini jasper shakes my hand, he looks like he's in depression and also maybe on drugs, these children are weird,i just saw Edward laughing for no reason

"aria" a bronze haired girl holding Jackson's hand walks straight past me, the blonde haired girl smiled but went straight back to glaring at me

"I'm Emmett" a guy that looked like he was on steroids "and this is rose" he gestures to the blonde girl that was holding his hand

"Rosalie, to you" she gave me a sarcastic smile. How was I going to live 2 weeks with these rude children

"Reneesme, aria say hello properly" Edward says trying to disguise his smile, aria glares at him and reneesme starts to protest

"Now" he was quite the big brother, wasn't he

"Hello I'm aria" aria said elongating the sentence

"And I am reneesme" reneesme said the same way, they had no respect what so ever

"We are in our room" Jackson and aria head for the stairs

"Not so fast, why don't you get to know Suzanne, I have to go to work" Carlisle stopped them they sigh and start to head for the living room, Carlisle goes to the door.

"So how is your family like, Suzanne" jasper asked

"Well, I have a husband call..."

"You have a husband" Emmett scoffs, that's plain rude

"I'm surprised" Rosalie giggles

"Wow" aria shakes her head

"I feel sorry for him" reneesme mutters

"He is called jack hasse I..."

"No wonder..." Edward laughs

"He's a donkey" Alice nods.

"That's enough" I shout "let's talk about you " I retrieve my calm "where are you all from" I ask as I had heard a bit of an American accent coming from some of them

"I was born in new York" Rosalie says

"But we lived in Texas" jasper finishes, I knew I heard an accent

"Washington" Bella says looking bored. Reneesme and aria look at Edward

"We are from Chicago" he gestures to reneesme and aria and himself

"We are from London" Alice finishes.

"So what do you like to do?" I ask starting to see these kids aren't all rudeness but then they roll their eyes

"We like to be in our rooms, undisturbed" Rosalie says slowly

"You all share rooms?" I ask

"Yes" Bella rolls her eyes

"That's disgusting" I shake my head

"Why?" Edward challenges, I don't say anything

"We're going" Jackson says

"And don't disturb us" aria glares at me and they walk off, the rest of them go upstairs too. Rude children, I was right about them being spoilt but I don't think I can help them.


	4. runaway

Es pov

Kamilla didn't look twelve she looked about ten.

"Get dinner ready, kamilla" jack tells her and she scurries of towards the kitchen, poor kid, surely she can't even reach the table tops yet "I'll be in my office" jack starts to go towards the tiny office next door to the living room.

I find the guest room and start unpacking, I do it at human speed so it takes a considerable amount of time, and afterwards I go to the kitchen to check on kamilla

"Do you need any help?" I ask her as she reaches up to get something from the cupboard

She gives me and incredulous look "no I'm ok, my dad won't be happy if you help me" she smiles sadly at me, that's when I noticed the bruise on the side of her face, a human wouldn't of been able to see it, it was covered with makeup but not very well, I could see yellowing bruises as well, they weren't so noticeable. Maybe she was just clumsy, like how Bella was clumsy when she was human, maybe.

We ate dinner in silence, well they ate and I played with the food on my plate, luckily jack didn't seem to notice and kamilla was too scared to ask.

"go to bed, I'll be up to check" jack said harshly once kamilla had finished clearing the table, and it somewhat felt like 'I'll be up to check' had a double meaning, maybe I was imagining stuff. Being away from Carlisle was taking a turn on me. I read all through the night but I was really distracted, there was something kamilla was hiding and I was going to find out by the end of these two weeks.

E pov

"Well she thinks that rose is a bitch and she also thinks that you're a bad influence on Nessie and aria. She thinks Alice is hyperactive and spoilt; well she thinks we are all spoilt. She thinks jasper is on drugs" I explain to the others, we sit in a circle in the games room "and Emmett is on steroids she thinks me and Bella are the most normal, Bella more because I was laughing and she thinks aria and Jackson are disgusting. And she thinks we are all just plain rude" I finish

"We will tell Carlisle and he has got to let us mess with her" Alice nods eagerly "let's get him now"

"car-dad" Emmett shouts "we need to speak to you" we hear Carlisle walking towards the games room, we unlock the door and let him in. we explain to him what Suzanne thinks of us, he takes a bit of convincing but he gives in eventually.

"Okay, so we're gonna mess with her good" Alice grins "so she thinks jaspers on drugs…" she starts

"Yeah so I'll buy some cocaine or something and I'll have it on the bedside table and then when she 'wakes us up' in the morning she'll see it" jasper nods

"Let's make it really hard for her to get us out of bed" Nessie smiles, it's already hard to get Nessie out of bed

"Ness, she's already gonna have a problem getting you out, you're a deep, deep sleeper" I tell her "you talk as well" I add

"I will pretend to have nightmare and I'll scream in the middle of the night, okay" rose smiles

"Yeah and I'll have a panic attack when I 'wake up'" Alice nods "and aria you have one too" aria nods

"I will just start swearing at her and stuff" Emmett smirked

"So y'know she thinks I'm normal… how about I turn out to be an alcoholic" Bella grins

"That's good" Alice nods

"And I laugh for no reason" I smile

"And I can talk to my elephant" Nessie says "like all the time and I carry it everywhere with me"

"I'll 'smoke'" aria said, man this is gonna be hilarious

"Oh yeah and kiss a lot in front of her and stuff" rose giggled

"I'll be like making everyone fake id's and shady stuff like that" Jackson smirks

"And also we'll just play pranks and have fun… like paintballing" Emmett smiles

"Paintballing tomorrow, then" jasper nods "I'll go get some stuff like crack and ciggies and alcohol" jasper leaves

"And I'll fill Carlisle in" Alice gets up

S pov

These children are horrid demons. Apparently I was supposed to make dinner for these brats. I finished dinner and called them at first they didn't come, only mister hottie Carlisle came, but then I heard arguing

"But Jackson you said you'll make me one" I hear renesmee whine

"For what? You don't need it"

"Yes I do! Make me one!" she shouts

"Ok ok, family discount so that's £70 please"

"Children stop arguing" Carlisle is nearly laughing, if these were my children they would be punished. The brats sat down at the table, aria and Jackson started kissing, honestly how can Carlisle allow that, hell, he was laughing.

"Get a room" Emmett shouts across the table

"Maybe we will" Jackson smirks, disgusting

"That was inappropriate, you are not going anywhere" I glare at Jackson and aria, vile children. I set down the food, Bella got up and went to the kitchen, a minute later she came back with a bottle of beer in her hand, just when I thought she was the normal one

"You're not drinking that" I say firmly

"Yes I am" she scoffs

"No you're not" I shake my head

"You're supposed to act like esme, esme lets Bella drink that" renesmee smiles "by the way your food sucks" she gags "Bella, can you make me real food"

"Sure darling" she takes a swig of the beer and leaves she gets renesmee some food and comes back

"Thank you" renesmee smiles and digs in. these children are far more than rude these children are the devils spawn. Aria gets up

"Where are you going?" I ask her

"Outside" she shrugs "do you have a problem?"

"What are you going to do outside?"

"None of your beeswax" she saunters off out the door, I get up to follow her

"Leave her" Edward says

"Why"

"She's angry" he smiles. Bullshit, I'm gonna find out what that kid is doing, its dark outside. I walk outside and I can smell smoke, I see aria out there smoking

"Did he or did he not tell you to leave me?" she shouts at me

"Uhh…" she runs back inside and when I get back to the dining room she and Jackson are gone and the rest of them are leaving

"Where have they gone?" I question, nobody seems worried, Carlisle certainly doesn't, he smiling and laughing

"They took my advice" Emmett says smirking "their getting a room"

"And you allow that" I turn to Carlisle

"Yes, yes I do actually" he says looking angry, no I don't want him angry

"You just let you 12 year old and 14 year old run away together, to get a room. On foot"

"Jackson is going to calm her down and anyways he has his driving license and a car"

"How?" these children spoilt rotten

"I paid for him to get it early, it's not new y'know" he smirks at me. Honestly these children need to be taught discipline and respect. It's ridiculous and Jackson and aria are going to be in big big trouble when they come back.

R pov

What aria did there was genius, it was hilarious. And Suzanne's face. All though she actually got angry and it wasn't an act it was so funny. I hate Suzanne she's such a bitch.


	5. wake up

Es pov

I go downstairs on Sunday to find kamilla in the kitchen, running her hand under the cold tap

"What happened sweetie?" I ask "and why are you up so early?" it was 6am

"I burnt my hand on the stove, it's nothing really" she blushes. I look at her hand, she was right it was just small, it wasn't going to blister or anything and it most certainly not leave a scar.

"What were you trying to do?" honestly what would a 12 year old girl want with the stove at 6 in the morning

"I was cooking breakfast, I do this every Sunday and Saturday, I burn myself a lot" she said to reassure me, it certainly did not, there was going to be some major rule changes come next week. "I made eggs and sausages" she points to the table next to the stove, the eggs and sausages looked perfect.

"You didn't have to do that" I smile down at her, she's so sweet

"Yes I do" she smiles up at me sadly "I need to go to set the table" she takes the plates of food, one of them has considerably less food than the other two

They ate breakfast in silence until kamilla broke it

"Esme, do you have any children?" she asks quietly, jack shoots her a glare

"Yes, I do, I have 9 children, would you like to see a picture of them?" she nods, I take my phone from my pocket and I tell her who everyone is in the family photo I took the other day

"They are all so beautiful, I wish I was beautiful like that" I smile sadly

"You are your own kind of beautiful, kamilla" she shakes her head slightly only vampires would be able to see she shook her head so I decide not to say anything.

"Tell me about your family, esme" she says eagerly

"Well Emmett is a trouble maker…" I tell her about all of them, jack leaves but we continue speaking.

S pov

Time to wake these demons up. Urrrggg. I walk up the stairs and open the first door, Edward and Bella. I hear a scream, I rush to the room that it's coming from, Rosalie is in the corner screaming and kicking, Carlisle comes into the room and tries to calm her down but she won't. I'm surprised Emmett isn't awake, he hasn't even twitched, jasper runs into the room

"Rosie, it's alright, he's not coming, and we're safe" he murmurs and she starts calming down "you're safe, he can't get you, its fine, just breath" jasper continues and within no time she has calmed down. I go to wake up Emmett.

"Go away" he grumbles, I shake him

"Get the fuck off of me and get the fuck out of my room" of course I don't obey him

"For fucks sake, I'm up" he rolls his eyes and follows Rosalie into their bathroom, disgusting

I go back to Bella and Edwards room, they look so peaceful together, I don't want to disturb them, oh well

"Wake up" I shout

"Shit!" Edward jumps out of bed

"What the fuck" Bella sits up slowly, these two were by far the easiest to wake up, but why all the swearing, that's going to change come next week. I proceed to Alice and jaspers room

"wake up" I shout, Alice doesn't budge, I shout again, not a twitch, I start shaking her, she screams and screams jasper comes from the bathroom, shirtless

"Ali, ali baby, it's okay" he strokes her and her stops screaming but is still breathing heavily. Jasper glares at me. These children are so damn difficult. I go up to renesmee's room she looks as adorable as Edward and Bella, she really did look like the child of them but that wouldn't work, it just couldn't. I shout and scream and shake her she doesn't wake up, I decide to get a bucket of cold ice water and tip it on her head. She screams in anger

"These pyjamas are really expensive; I have to go to the dry cleaners now. I hate you" she runs to her bathroom. And I'm done waking these brats up. That took 1 and half hours.

When I get downstairs, they are all in the living room, still in their pj's or whatever they wore to bed, aria and Jackson are also there, kissing.

"Why don't you all get dressed" I suggest

"Nahh" Emmett shakes his head "we're gonna watch ted"

"That movie is not appropriate" I say

"We've watched it before" aria rolls her eyes

"I don't care" they don't pay any attention to me and they proceed to watch the movie, what disobedient children.

Later on I go and check on them but the living room in covered in plastic, so is the hallway and most of the other rooms. I hear a loud shot kind of sound then laughter, what are they up to now?

"1 nil to us" I hear renesmee's voice coming

"No fair, I wasn't ready" Emmett whines, another shot noise

"1 1" another shot noise getting closer

"2 1" a shot noise and something wet and sticky hits my arm hard, I would probably have a bruise, another one hits me

"That's enough" I shout, when they all come around me laughing

"You're no fun" jasper says

"You hurt me"

"It was an accident, big baby" Edward rolls his eyes

"Then you would be sorry"

"Sorry" Rosalie says sarcastically and she rolls her eyes

"Now stop, and come and eat something"

"What did you make" renesmee eyes me suspiciously

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches"

"Where did the peanut butter come from?" Bella asks me

"The shop"

"What brand is it?" Alice looks at me strangely

"Skippy" these children are so weird

"And the jelly, what brand is that?" jasper asks

"Hartley's"

"What type of bread?" Jackson asks

"White" they all make a face

"We are allergic to peanut butter" aria shrugs

"We don't like jam" Emmett smiles

"We hate white bread" renesmee says. Why are these children so damn difficult?

"And only Nessie is hungry" Edward grins

"I'll make something nice for you, Nessie" Bella walks to the kitchen

"How come only Bella makes food for renesmee?" I ask

"Because Bella's her…" Emmett gets cut off by Edward, I wonder what he was going to say

"Because only Bella can cook out of us" I was astonished at this, these children were most certainly spoilt

"Was that because she cooked before she got adopted" I asked them

"Yeah" Edward said quietly

"Clean this all up now" I say referring to the plastic everywhere, Edward chuckles, weird boy. "I'm going to the shops I expect it to be clean when I get back"

"How long will you take?" Jackson asks smirking, that boy was so freaking irritating

"I don't know"

"You can't use the Volvo or the Aston martin" Edward calls

"And you can't use the bmw" rose says

"Or the porche"

"Or the black Ferrari and the red Lamborghini" aria shouts

I get to the garage and I decide to use the red Ferrari, they didn't say I can't use this. I go to the shop and come back.

As I enter the house I hear shouting and arguing and the house is a tip, why, just why did I leave them to clean up?

A pov

Suzanne actually left us to clean the house, is she crazy? Most likely.

"Okay then, so where to start?" Edward sighs

"Here" Emmett rips off the plastic, but he knocks over a cheap glass vase and it breaks

"Emmett!" Rosalie shouts

"What? It was an accident" we all sigh, Emmett and his accidents "look we can do it quickly like this" she starts running round tearing plastic off the walls occasionally wall paper to and knocking plant pots spilling the soil everywhere.

We end up having a big argument, really just to piss Suzanne off when she came home. It was hilarious. And we all hated Suzanne very very much. What she thinks about us is despicable and when she made me angry yesterday I was so ready to rip off her head.


	6. laughing

**A/N so I know I haven't updated in ages, I'm sorry. I have shit loads of excuses, I have a story on wattpad and another story on fictionpress I also have a load of poems on fictionpress. I can't say homework was grabbing my attention because it really wasn't; another excuse I sort of had writers block and I was feeling a bit depressed so yeah, I'm sorry but I'll let you read now**

C pov

I walk into my house, it smells like it has been cleaned recently, then I see the sight where the mess had clearly been. Cleaned by Suzanne, I see. That needs to be cleaned properly then.

"Your children are wild animals" Suzanne shouts at me when I walk into the kitchen

"Never speak of my children that way" I almost growl, making tears spurt into her eyes, Edward had told me what she thinks of me, urgh

"I'm sorry" she says quietly "they were just being very rude to me"

"Let's see what they have to say" I nod "kids" I shout, they heard and came rushing into the room, making the floor wet as they came in from the pool, only Nessie had a towel

"No towel, a bit obvious you aren't feeling the cold?" I whisper at vampire speed to them, they start shivering

"I'll get us towels" Bella says, we all laugh silently

Once she comes back she hands out the towels and I begin

"Suzanne says that you were being rude to her" I say

"We were not" Nessie shakes her head

"She's lying" Emmett says rather childishly, it takes a lot not to laugh

"What did you do today?" I ask them

"We woke up…no wait that's not right…we were woken up" Edward glares at Suzanne

"And then we paint balled for a bit" jasper says

"Then someone stopped us, rudely" Jackson emphasises the rudely, shooting daggers at Suzanne

"Then we swam" Alice smiles "and we got to try on our new swim suits" I smile, fondly at her love for fashion

"That's nice, I'll be in my office if you need me" I tell them, Suzanne gives me a weird look, Edward immediately growls under his breath

"I quote 'what a caring father' Suzanne said sarcastically" he says at vampire speed to us, the rest of the kids got angry and I walked up to my office to do some work. Maybe I wasn't the best father; I barely spent time with my kids

S pov

"Fuck you" Emmett flips me off once Carlisle is out of the room, how rude

"Do not use that kind of language with me young man" he scoffs when I say that

"I can use whatever language I like with you" he smirks back, the others are all laughing, I glare at them but they don't stop. All of them go out of the kitchen leaving me to supposedly make dinner. Pigs.

While dinner was on the stove I decided to go and see what the children are doing, and for once they're not together.

I walk into the living room, Bella is on the sofa watching TV with a bottle of beer in her hand, revolting, and Edward has his arm around her. And jasper was kneeling on the floor next to the table and on the table was a line of powder, jasper is on drugs. I knew it.

"What are you doing?" I ask

"Getting high" jasper smirks, honestly these children

"Does Carlisle know that you take drugs?" I ask planning to bust him

"Yep" he nods

"And he lets you" I raise an eyebrow

"Yep" jasper starts sniffing

"Leave the guy alone" Bella sounds a bit drunk

"Bella go to bed" does their father not care about them

"Nahh, we were just heading out actually" I give up and go look for the other demons

I heard some rather disgusting noises, which made me, shudder; come from Rosalie and Emmett's room. Just revolting. I knocked on the door of Alice and jasper's room

"Come in" I hear Alice say; by far Alice was the most nice. A photo shoot area is set up in the middle of the room, renesmee is standing on and X in a very revealing bikini, striking very inappropriate poses

"What are you doing?" I ask

"I do modelling for Alice" renesmee looks up at me

"It's not for me it's for a modelling agency but sometimes I use the photos for school projects and stuff" I nod and walk out the room that was far better than what Rosalie and Emmett are doing. I walk all the way up the flights of stairs to aria and Jackson's room. I didn't knock and they didn't hear me opening the door, they were sitting on the bed in a very intimate position kissing. Jackson was still wearing his trunks and aria was still wearing her very, very revealing bikini. This was disgusting. I have to speak to Carlisle about this.

"It's dinner time" I tell them

"Fucking hell, don't creep up on people like that" aria jumps

"And for fucks sake why didn't you knock" Jackson glares at me

"Change now and come down for dinner" I shut the door and shout for the others to come to dinner

"Bella and Edward went out" jasper tells everyone except Rosalie and Emmett who aren't here yet "I'm not hungry, so imma just go" he stands up, looking a bit giddy

"No eat" I said, I never saw these kids eat, or Carlisle either. He sighs and sits back down. Rosalie and Emmett come into the room looking a bit rough, but happy. Rosalie's hair is in a messy ponytail which I've never seen before, all the children snicker when they take their seats

"Be a bit quieter next time" Carlisle tells them, what? What? What?

"Do you know what they were doing?" I ask him

"Yes" he says obliviously "they are 18 so they are legal" he shrugs

"Well Bella is an alcoholic and that's not legal! And jasper is on drugs and that's not legal!" I tell him, he shrugs chuckling

"It's not funny" I say

"It's hilarious" jasper says and starts laughing

"He's high" I point at jasper, everyone starts laughing, once they settled down I pressed another issue "aria and Jackson, were making out almost naked" I tell Carlisle

"We had our swim suits on" aria shrugged

"So you haven't progressed" Emmett wiggles his eyebrows, everyone laughs

"Not yet" Jackson says, this is just disgusting, what kind of father is Carlisle to let his kids do this. Just revolting.

"I'm going to bed" I say, hopefully tomorrow isn't like this, but that's not going to happen, these children are just sick and Carlisle is a rubbish father.


	7. homeschool

S pov

A knock on my door wakes me up

"Yes" I respond to it

"I'm going to work now, you should wake the kids up at 7" Carlisle tells me, I look at my alarm clock it was 5:30am, wow early

"Okay" I grumble and my head hits the pillow and I fall back asleep

B pov

Right now we are in Alice's closet making a plan for today

"So today she is going to home school aria and Jackson, you guys have to not listen to her and always be kissing and don't do any work" Alice told them

"Ok" they both nod

"Oh yeah and aria, smoke more and Jackson have like a fake id for..." ness cuts in

"Me!" she says loudly

"Ssshhhh" Emmett shushes her

"Oh yeah, soz" she blushes, just like I used to

"Yeah okay Nessie then, on your desk in your room so she sees it when she comes to 'wake' you up"

"Then when we come home we're gonna ask for a snack but not eat it" jasper adds

"I'll have my elephant and I'll be speaking to it" Nessie smiles

"And we'll just annoy her so much" my Edward grins

"Sounds like a plan" aria smiles

"I'm off to work now so get changed and get in your beds" Carlisle opens the door

"Okay" we all say together

S pov

_Ring ring ring ring ring ring_

I switch off the alarm, its 6:30. Urgg another day with these demons at least most of them went to school. I got ready then went to wake them up.

First it was Bella and Edward's room, they look so cute all cuddled up together, but that doesn't mean it isn't wrong. I shout and they jump, swearing and glaring at me. Rosalie and Emmett's room next, I shout and Emmett doesn't budge but Rosalie starts screaming then Emmett wakes up and starts comforting her, this time she calms down. I proceed to Alice and jasper's room, I shout and shake them but they don't wake up, I tip water on them and Alice starts shaking and screaming

"Motherfucker" jasper whispers furiously glaring at me, trying to calm Alice down, I leave. I go to renesmee's room I straight away tip water on her but she doesn't budge, she couldn't have felt the water because she was under her duvet and I couldn't prise it from her fingers, I'll come back for her. I climb the stairs to aria and Jackson's room, why did they need to have their room so far away from the others, urrgh, I open the door and aria is practically lying on top of Jackson, disgusting, also Jackson is only wearing boxers and aria wearing very short shorts and a cami top, but that was better than what the other girls were wearing, they were wearing lace lingerie, I seriously don't understand how a mother could let them.

"Wake up" I shout aria starts screaming and Jackson quickly grabs a long sleeved top from the side of the bed, strange

"aria, baby, it's just me Jackson" he strokes her hair "its Jackson, and I love you, your safe, it's okay" he carries on muttering in her ear until she calms down, he gets up to get something from the desk. I saw an ID looking card with a picture of renesmee on it but instead of renesmee it said Kaitlyn, fake, he made a fake id for her; wow these children are bad very very bad. I go to renesmee's room but luckily for me she is already up.

"Good Moring, children" I say when I get down stairs

"Fuck you and your morning" Rosalie say to my face, the others laugh, rude. I noticed what the girls were wearing; they wear all wearing very short skirts, and revealing shirts and 6 inch heels

"Your clothing is not acceptable" I point at all of the girls even aria, she was wearing 6 inch heels too and she wasn't even going anywhere,

"I think their clothing is fine" Edward looks Bella up and down then winks at her

"Your skirts are to short and your shirts are way to revealing and your shoes are just unacceptable"

"No, your clothes are fine" Alice argued

"Our skirts aren't even that short" Rosalie added, their skirt came to about 5 cm above the knee

"And our tops are fine, I don't know what you're talking about fashion, you dress like a nun" renesmee scoffs

"We're going to be late, let's go" Bella says and with that they all go out

I turn to aria and Jackson "go and change" I tell aria

"Nahh, I'm good, I'll stay in this thank you" she smiles and they go into a room, I follow them. The room is set out like a class room with two desks facing each other; it has lots of books in one corner and a whole bookshelf for a wall

"Esme teaches us in here" Jackson says and they both sit down at one of the desks

I sit down at the other.

"So what does esme teach you?" I ask them

"Stuff" aria responds

"What kinds of stuff?" Jackson huffs

"What you learn at school, like, maths, English, science, geography, art, and stuff" he says

"Is that all you learn?" I raise an eyebrow

"No, we learn medicine from Carlisle and Rosalie teaches us car mechanics, Emmett does p.e with us and Edward teaches us music" aria rolls her eyes at me "Alice teaches me fashion and photography"

"And jasper teaches us history, also renesmee helps us with work esme sets us sometimes" Jackson finishes

"So should we start with maths" they shrug "okay we will, I have some print outs let me go and get them" I go get the print out work I had ready for them, when I came back aria was on Jackson's lap and they were kissing, EW, I cough, they ignore me

"Stop, now" I see aria roll her eyes and slide off Jackson, Jackson just huffs

"Here is your work, I expect it done by the time I come back" I gave them the sheets "I'm going to clean the house"

"How long will you be?" Jackson asks

"Maybe about 30 mins to an hour" I said giving them plenty of time to finish.

I cleaned the house for an hour then went back to the room

They were kissing yet again; this time was even more disgusting

"Stop, how many times do I have to tell you" they both roll their eyes and huff at me, I look over to see how much work they'd done but their papers were blank, oh my goodness, these children.

"I'm going to watch you do your work now" I sit at the teacher's desk and watch them, after about 15 mins Jackson's phone rings, he answers it

"hello, Jackson hale" he says "yes…hmm…okay…well I'll have it to you by the earliest next week…it take quite a while to make what you're asking for…I will need another picture as well…and that will be 110 instead of 80…okay then see you" he puts it back in his pocket

"Who was that?" I ask him

"None of your business" he smiles and looks down at his sheet

"Can I go to the toilet?" aria squirms around in her chair

"No"

"Esme would let me go to the toilet"

"Fine then" these children are so spoilt; before she leaves she gives Jackson a kiss, urrggh. After 20 mins she still hasn't come back yet

"I'm going to check on her, you stay here" I say

When I knock on the door there is no answer, it's not even locked so it was obvious she wasn't in there, I went looking for her. When I found her she was outside, guess what she was doing, smoking. Smoking!

"Aria Cullen! Stop this instance"

"No" she almost growled back

"Your father will hear about this" I warn her

"Tell him" she says taking another swing of the cigarette

"You can die from that you know" I tell her

"I don't care, now go away before I kill you" she shouts, Jackson comes

"Leave and it's our break now so yeah" he says taking the packet from her and grabbing a cigarette for himself.

These children need sorting out and I'm going to do just that when rule change comes!

**A/N sorry it's been so long, I've been really busy cos I decided to do homework for a change, I have also been updating my story on fictionpress and I went away at the weekend and my internet has been on and off. If you want to read my story and my poems on fictionpress** **my name is lizette cullen. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Why not tell me in the reviews what was your favourite part of this chapter. :) **


	8. best dad

**A/N so I hope you enjoyed the last chapter! **** I just want to say thank you to everyone that reads this book, and even more thanks to those of you that have reviewed, and a really big thanks to those of you who have favourited or followed this book. I am so grateful and your reviews make me happy and every time someone favourites or follows I feel like screaming with joy. So thank you thank you thank you oh and did I say thank you! Also I just realized that its chapter 8 and it's still only Monday so this is going to be a looooooonnnnggggg if I keep going at this slowish pace. I'm happy going at this pace but I wanted to ask you guys. Would you like me to make this go a bit faster or are you happy with this pace? Answer in reviews or why not pm me. Anyways this is getting long so imma let you read now…enjoy!**

Es pov

I read one of the many books I packed as I wait for 6:30 am to come, so I could wake up kamilla. Why on earth would a kid have to get up at 6:30 it's surely not healthy. I've also noticed that she does all the house work and cooking, her dad doesn't so much as speak to her, I doubt her mom does, and she puts a considerably small amount of food on her plate. She is also so small for a 12 year old. My alarm sounds. I go to kamilla's room across the hall; it's basically a box, like harry potters 'under the stairs' room except it's not under the stairs.

"Wake up, kamilla darling" I say softly, creaking the door open

"Hhhmmmm" she looks around franticly then relaxes when she sees me "oh" she looks down shyly "good morning, esme"

"Good morning, sweetheart, it's time to get up" I smile at her

K pov

"Good morning, sweetheart, it's time to wake up" she smiles at me; nobody had ever called me sweetheart. Esme is the nicest person ever she seems like she actually cares for me; unlike my parents they are so mean.

"Okay" I said in a small voice and started to get out of bed

"I'm downstairs if you need me" she exits my room; I like esme so much I wish she was my mom. She's actually the beautifulest person I've ever seen and her children are beautiful too and they all look really nice too. I quickly get dressed into a long skirt and long sleeved top. I ran downstairs quickly as not to cross my dad before I go to school.

"I made breakfast for you" esme smiles as I come down

"You shouldn't have done that, I can make breakfast for myself, but thank you" I smile back at her, if my dad finds out…

I see the plate of food that she made for me, way too much, this is how much I put for dad, maybe she has a separate plate for me

"Here you go" she gives me the full plate of food

"I don't think I'll be able to eat all of it" I say uncertain about the food

"it's okay, eat what you can" she assures me, I sit down and eat about quarter of the food

"I really need to get to school now" I tell her handing the plate to her

"Do you want a lift? it's still quite early" she asks looking concerned

"No thank you, I'm alright" I tell her and she nods so I walk out the door and head to school

S pov

These children are a piece of work, uurrgh

"Come and have something to eat" I shout at Jackson and aria, who are outside smoking, Carlisle really should deal with his children's addictions

"What do you want?" aria grumbles as they trudge into the kitchen

"Sit down and eat" I say, she looks at the plates of pasta I, kindly made for them, and back to me

"We don't like pasta" she shrugs

"and we're not hungry" Jackson pulls down his sleeves, that boy always wears long sleeved tops and so did his brother jasper, it's like they are trying to cover their arms or something

"What do you like?" I sigh, getting annoyed

"It doesn't matter" aria rolls her eyes

"We are going upstairs" Jackson picks up aria in a piggy back, weird, weird children. I'm going to speak to all of them about their issues, they need serious help. They need to see a counsellor

_Ring, ring_

I pick up the phone

"Hello?"

"Hello, it's me Carlisle, Suzanne. I was just calling to let you know I won't be home until 11pm maybe later, I have a day off tomorrow as well" Carlisle says

"Okay, would it be okay if I go and see how your children behave at school?" I ask, I wonder if these children are this rude at school

"Yeah sure, I'll home school aria and Jackson" he says

"Okay"

"Bye then" and he hangs up

"We're home!" I hear a loud booming voice; probably Emmett, coming from the garage; aria and Jackson run down the stairs

"Yay! Finally" aria shouts

"That witch, is horrible" Jackson tells them, obviously referring to me

"We did math all day and she didn't give us any food" aria adds

"Motherfucking bitch!" Rosalie says to me as they come into the kitchen

"Give me a good reason why I shouldn't call childline" Edward glares at me

"Because you all have big problems and Carlisle isn't the best father" I smile

"Carlisle is an amazing father, he's the best, nobody could ever beat him, so go fuck yourself" jasper flips me off

"He barely spends any time with you" I say

"He spends plenty of time with us and he also saves lives every day and he loves us, bitch" Alice glares at me, just when I thought she was really nice

"We'll let him prove it" I say

"Fuck you" Bella and renesmee say at the same time, honestly they look quite similar

"He doesn't need to prove it, bitch" Emmett says "we know he loves us and we love him" he

"He's not coming home till late" I tell them

"We already know" Rosalie says sauntering off with Emmett

The rest of them leave

"Wait renesmee?" I call after her, she turns

"What do you want?" she says rudely

"Come here" she sighs heavily but obeys

"What?"

"What do you think about your siblings' relationships?" I ask her

"If they're happy its good and they are happy. They love each other and that's good for them, I'm happy for them" she shrugs

"What about when they kiss in front of you?" I ask, she pulls a face

"I can't even… urrgghh. Emmett and rose are the worst" she shudders

"What do you think about aria smoking? She's your younger sister right?"

"Uh yeah… aria does her own thing but I guess we all do so it's fine she smokes. It's not going to kill her or anything" she shrugs, this kid is delusional does she not know smoking kills, her dad is a doctor, honestly

"And may I ask you why Edward laughs at nothing?" she rolls her eyes

"He's not laughing at nothing, it's just that you don't know what he's laughing at" she says and leaves, her opinions where useless, she just agrees with everything her siblings do. So annoying!


	9. school with suzanne

S

I need a faster way of waking up these children; they are the cause of my nightmares. And I have six more days of this torture, please kill me now.

I got an idea. I go downstairs and get one of the very shiny, new looking, saucepans and a likewise metal serving spoon. I go to the hallway where most of the rooms are and start banging it. When I didn't hear anything I open the doors and bang it harder.

"Emmett, keep the noise down!" I hear jaspers southern drawl

"Fucking hell, keep it down" Edward grumbles

"What the serious fuck are you doing" Rosalie comes out of her and Emmett's bedroom, glaring at me

"Why you wake me up, bitch?" she ask

"It's time to get up for school" she flips me off then walks back to her room

"What the fuck was the noise for, Suzanne?" Bella pops her head out of her door looking angry

"I was waking you up" I shrug, she huffs and go back inside her room

Jasper comes out of his room not ready

"Where are you going?" I ask him

"For a little smoke" he says "do you have a problem with that?" he walks away, these children are impossible

"Is Alice still in there?" I shout after him

"Yeah, leave her I'll wake her up" I ignore him and go into their room, Alice is so cute when she's sleeping she looks like a little child

"Wake up!" I shout and bang the sauce pan

"Get away from me!" she screams, and screams.

"Fucking hell, don't you learn from your mistakes" Emmett yells at me he starts to calm Alice down, it takes a while but he eventually does it

"Where's jazz?" she asks confused once she stopped screaming

"Outside smoking" Emmett shrugs "seeya then, I might try some of that weed stuff; jasper said it was quite nice"

"Okay then" she sighs happily "now get out, I have no idea what I'm gonna wear" she jumps out of bed and straight to her closet

"Good morning, Suzanne" Carlisle nods at me "it wasn't the wisest thing to do, y'know, banging the saucepan" he says "I have woken up Nessie for you, I will wake aria and Jackson up later so don't bother" he tells me, I nod

"She's such a bitch" I hear Emmett grumble obviously whining about me

"I wish we had esme back" reneesme says

"This is your fault Emmett!" Alice shouts at him

"We're gone, she's gonna come down in a minute" I hear Bella say, I run the rest of the way down the stairs

"Hold it right there" I block the way for them to pass "I'm coming with you today"

"Nooooooooo" Rosalie whines, Alice looks like she could cry and so does Emmett, Edward looks annoyed and Bella and jasper look angry as hell, it's almost scary the way they glare at me.

"Fuck you" jasper flips me off then walks past me to the garage, Alice follows him

"She's riding with rose and Emmett" Bella shouts and she and Edward run out to the car

"Urrgh, come on then" Emmett nods his head towards the garage, Rosalie glares at me like I killed her mother

The drive was silent but I could feel the tension in the car, it was cold and they didn't even turn up the heating, what is wrong with these children?

"We're here, get out!" Rosalie almost shouts at me, I take my time getting out of the car and I receive another one of her death glares. They walk off leaving me outside and not even showing me where to go, very rude, these children need etiquette lessons.

"Hello, please may I help?" a chubby redhead asks as I enter the main office, which I found by myself

"um, I'm Suzanne Hasse" I introduce myself and she looks confused "the Cullen's are participating in the show wife swap and I am the new mother, I have come to see how they do at school" she nods and gives me pass that lets me into the school, she also gives me their timetables and a map of the school

"thank you" I smile and go into the school, I look at each of the children timetables I realise that Edward, Bella and Alice have all their classes together and Emmett, Rosalie and jasper were the same, it was only reneesme that was alone because of their ages differences, but hopefully reneesme has friends apart from her siblings. I decide to go to Edward, Bella and Alice's first class, I see them as I walk in I wave but they ignore me, these children will be taught manners come next week.

"Hello class, can anyone remember what we were talking about next lesson?" the teacher starts the lesson, everybody stops talking except for Edward, Bella and Alice

"Edward, can you tell me?" Edward looks up, then smirks

"Nobody cares what we learnt last lesson, we just want to learn this lesson" he says amused, the teacher looks gobsmacked

"Well, we were talking about the emotions…." The teacher goes on and the three of them keep speaking

"Sir, Can I go to the toilet" Bella shouts out

"No"

"Sir, please, I'm gonna pee myself" she squirms

"go on then be quick" he consents and carries on teaching about 3 minutes later Edward slips out the classroom without the teacher realising

They don't come back for the rest of the lesson

"What are the Cullen's like?" I ask the teacher at the end of the lesson

"They are very cleaver students, I teach all of them and they are amazing, it's like they have knowledge before this time. They are quiet and keep to themselves" he says, is he delusional

"Okay" I raise my eyebrows and walk away towards Emmett, Rosalie's and jasper's lesson, history.

Throughout the lesson they chatted and I didn't even see them write a single thing on their paper. Jasper even corrected the teacher once; the teacher looked very baffled as she checked the book to see if it was correct. I asked at the end of the lesson how they were like and she said the same thing the other teacher said, how can they be so clever and I didn't see they so much as open their school bags at home.

Next it was lunch time as they were both double lessons. I walk into the cafeteria and it takes me a while to find the Cullen's when I do all of them are sitting at the same table. I walk over to them and sit down with them

"So your teachers tell me you are all really good in class" they nod, looking own at their food playing with it "I never see you do any homework or studying" I say, Emmett snorts

"We're too good for that" the rest of them laugh

"You need to study if you want to get good grades and a good job" I tell them, they all burst out laughing

"We always get good grades" reneesme says

"What do you all want to be when you grow up?" these children just think life is one big game; they need to grow up a little

"World champion wrestler" Emmett says, the others laugh "no, I'm serious, I've got the body for it and everything"

"I want to be a dog trainer" reneesme says, this receives even more laughter

"I wanna be a gum buster" Edward says, and just as they were recovering from laugh at reneesme's job they start laughing again

"I'm gonna be a chicken sexer" jasper tells us, what kind of job is that

"I wanna be a stand- in- bridesmaid" Rosalie says, these children's career options are rubbish

"I'm gonna be a dice inspector" Bella says

Next period I followed reneesme to her lessons, first she had math. She swung on her chair, corrected the teacher and she didn't write anything in her book. Next she had geography, I think she was sleeping during this, the teacher never called on her and she had her head down all lesson.

"How is reneesme doing?" I ask

"She is doing amazing, she is my star pupil" the teacher told me at the end of the lesson.

This is seriously messed up.

I rode home with Rosalie and Emmett; it was silent because I didn't have the heart to speak to these silly children.


	10. Truth or dare

C pov

"Hello Carlisle" Suzanne flirts with me, when she and the kids get home

"Hello Suzanne" I say trying moving past her

"How was your day?" she tries again, fluttering her eye lashes, jeez this woman

"Good thanks, what about yours?" I try to be polite

"The teachers say that all your children do very good"

"Yes, they are very clever" I says vaguely she goes to say something "look, I don't have time for this, I need to speak to the kids, I'll catch up with you later" I rush off

N pov

"Kids, could you go to my office I'll be right up. Emmett don't touch anything" Carlisle tells us, he looks annoyed, probably Suzanne I heard her flirting with him, she's such a pest

We reply back in a series of oks, kk's and kay's

"Would you like me in there too" Suzanne asks him, her voice is so annoying, naahh just her presence is annoying she don't even have to speak to be annoying

"Reneesme, that's mean" dad says, frowning

"Sorry, just she is really annoying" I reason

"True, true" he nods

"It's just a family talk, you don't need to be there" Carlisle says, a little too harshly but that's cool, even he doesn't like her, and I thought Carlisle liked everyone

We all go to Carlisle's office; aria and Jackson are already in there.

"Carlisle, I really need to hunt" jasper says once we shut the door, I bet that bitch is trying to listen to us, dad shoots me a look, _sorry daddy, I won't use language like that again, but she really does aggravate me so much _I think to him, he nods understandingly

"That's what I called this meeting to talk about" he said "so jasper you really need to hunt, who else can't wait?"

"Me" Emmett puts his hand up

"I can wait a while" Alice nods

"I'm fine, mum and dad could bring me some and I'll pretend its Ribena or something" I say

"We're fine for now" mum says for both her and dad

"I can wait a bit" rose shrugs

"I need to hunt, badly" Jackson says, he is still getting used to our diet, but he's quicker adjusting than me, mum and dad used to give me human blood, and I like it a lot, but animal blood is nice too, especially mountain lion, mmmmm, thinking about it made my mouth water

"I'm alright for now" aria says

"Okay so, how about Emmett, jasper and Jackson go like now after this, I'll make up an excuse for you" he plans "then if Alice, Rosalie and aria go like 2 hours after they come back"

"Wait, Nessie would you prefer to go hunting or for Bella and Edward to bring you something?" he asks me

"I want to go; can I go with Uncle Emmett though?" I liked going hunting with him, he was so much fun, and watching him wrestle grizzly bears is so funny

"Ha-ha, no, not happening, Emmett is not trustworthy enough" dad says

"I agree, and anyways it needs to be quick" Carlisle backs him up "so Bella, Edward and Nessie go 3 hours after they come back, and I will go in the night. I will make up excuses for you all, okay"

"Sounds like a plan then" Emmett claps his hands together then rubs them against each other "come on boys we've got some animals to catch" the three of them walk out, and then we hear the front door close

S pov

"Where did Emmett, jasper and Jackson go?" I ask the girls and Edward when they come out

"They are going to get more stuff for us" Bella shrugs, these people are so freaking vague

"What stuff?"

"y'know, beer, maybe a little wine, some fags, Ritz, weed, maybe some coke" Rosalie rolls her eyes at me, these children need Jesus, honestly

"come eat dinner, they are going to have to do without" I say, I don't have the patience to argue with them, I notice what aria is wearing, hot pink short shorts, it freezing cold here

"Go and wear something decent, which covers your legs" I tell her

"No, I'll stay in these thanks" that girl is way too cocky for her own good

"Whatever" they follow me down stairs to the dining room

I set the food on the table

"I am not eating that" reneesme shouts and walks to the kitchen, she returns with a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar, and some booze which she gave to Bella

"Thanks sweetie" Bella says to reneesme, these children are actually sick

"You need proper food" I tell her

"I'll eat proper food later" she smirks

"I'm excusing myself" aria says and walks to the door, that girls is about to work on my last nerve

"I'm not eating this" Rosalie says much calmly than reneesme, I never seen these children eat, only reneesme eats, Carlisle doesn't eat either, maybe they are anorexic

"Are you anorexic?" I ask them, Edward sighs and shakes his head

"Hell, no" he says

"Bitch" Rosalie says slowly "motherfucking bitch, do I look anorexic, no, I fucking eat when I want to not when somebody tells me to" she says

"Go fuck yourself" Bella flips me off and all four of them go outside where aria is

"Why don't they eat?" I ask reneesme

"They do, when they want to, but unlike you we're not fat and we don't eat all the time" she shoves her plate towards me and walks outside, I follow her, outside is a massive bonfire

"Who made this?" I asked

"Me" aria says not looking at me, she is smoking once again

"By yourself?"

"Yep" she nods

"Surely you had help from your dad"

"Nope" she shakes her head

"She's a pyro" Rosalie says, the others laugh, this family is messed up and has serious issues, they need counselling, badly

"We're back" Emmett, jasper and Jackson shout as they come outside "the stuff is in the games room" jasper tells them

"Cool" Edward says

"Let's play truth or dare" Alice said suddenly, I hadn't heard much from her this evening "you're going to play too Suzanne"

"Okay, what are the rules?" they all roll their eyes at me

"Let's sit in a circle first" Jackson said, we sat in a circle with the garden chairs, and they kept the bonfire going so we had a source of light and warmth

"okay, so we go round in a circle daring each other or asking truths, and each time you forfeit you have to take off an item of clothing, like your jeans or your shirt or whatever, it's really easy" I don't really like that sound of this, but let's see

"I'll start" Emmett smiled evilly "Edward, truth or dare?"

"Truth" Edward chuckled

"Coward, what are you most scared of?"

"Vampires" Edward looks down embarrassed, everybody else laughs

"What's so funny about that?" I ask, because if they were real I would be scared of vampires, Edward is obviously still scared of them even though they aren't real

"Inside joke" Alice giggles, weird kids

"Okay, my go" Edward looks around the circle and smiles "Rosalie, truth or dare?"

"Dare, your dares are easy" she scoffs

"We'll see about that, I dare you to Demonstrate how you masturbate" how inappropriate

"I don't" she tries not to laugh

"Before Emmett, surely you did" Bella says

"I take back what I said about your dares" she glares at Edward

She does the dare, and everyone except me is in tears of laughter

"That was disgusting" I say, ready to puke

"Naahh that was sexy" Emmett's laugh

"So funny, cant breath" Nessie gulps for air

"My turn, Alice, truth or dare?"

"Dare" she smiles maniacally

"Okay, I dare you to take of your underwear" inappropriate again, Alice is also wearing a too short skirt, these children are ridiculous

"I'll help you" jasper says, everyone laughs

She takes them of, they are thongs, urgh I can't even… how does their mother let them wear this stuff

"Put them in the middle" Rosalie gives a mischievous smile.

**A/N so I hope you're enjoying it so far, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, but now I did and it's longer than usually. I will continue truth or dare next chapter. Aren't you excited for what they are going to dare Suzanne to do, I know I am. Reviews are good they make me happy and I update quicker, thank you for reading. **


	11. Truth or dare part 2

Ja pov

We are getting well into truth or dare, Edward had his hilarious fear of vampires, Rosalie and her demonstration, and now Alice had just taken off her underwear, this is funny.

When jasper went into the war, I nearly broke down; he was so much of a big brother to me. And then he didn't come back, my parents and I were devastated, as soon as I could I joined the war, I wanted to follow in his footsteps and be brave and strong like him, I wanted to find him, and eventually I did, I had a few troubles on the way, but I have found him now, and I have another family, yes I miss my parents but, Carlisle and esme are amazing and everyone is so loving and happy, I don't have to worry anymore, and I have finally met my mate and everything is looking up.

"Okay, my turn" Alice grins, trying not to look in the direction of Suzanne who she is obviously going to ask "Suzanne, truth or dare?"

"Uh, truth" she looked a bit nervous

"How long is your pubic hair?" she smiles evilly, the look on Suzanne's face was…just…priceless, we all burst out laughing

"That! That is… that is disgusting" she shouted and stood up

"You can't go anywhere, we're not finished" jasper shouts at her, still laughing

"Answer or pass" Rosalie grins

"Pass" she sits back down, looking very disgusted by us, we just laugh. She takes off her jumper.

"Spoilsport" Emmett mutters loud enough for her to hear

"Your turn, then" aria, my love, nods at Suzanne

"Okay, aria, truth or dare?"

"Dare" my beauty says

"Okay, I dare you to Spend the next round sitting in the lap of the player to your left" ooohh me!

"Easy" she gives her a dirty look and sits down on my lap and kisses me, every time her lips touch mine sparks fly, like fireworks, the world feels like its spinning and we're in the middle of it, just us. We go a little bit deeper into the kiss, she giggles against my lips

"Later, baby" she whispers her breath tickling my cheek; she kisses it quickly and turns round, giving Suzanne a big sarcastic smile

"Nessie, truth or dare"

"Dare" she responds, excited

"okay…" aria thinks for a bit, then a face-splitting grin appears on her face "I dare you to full on snog Edward" Suzanne shivered and looked like she was going to say something but didn't, she closed her eyes and rubbed her head against her hand in frustration

"But…" Nessie stuttered, looking at her parents who looked very shocked, Nessie was squirming and I think I even saw Edward squirm, ha

"Do it or take you leggings off" Emmett grinned

"Da…Edward?" Nessie looked quickly at Suzanne, she didn't seem to realize

"Just do it quickly, get it done with. Emmett is just so excited to see you in underwear" Edward sighs, defeated, Bella giggles

"Um… kay" Nessie crosses the circle, Edward lifts his chin up to let her, she kissed him firmly, neither of them opens their mouths

"Proper snogging" aria prompts

Nessie opens her mouth and Edward follows, Nessie's tongue goes into his mouth, she starts moving her mouth, he keeps his still, but for a moment I swear I saw him moving with Nessie's, I'm pretty sure I did, I have vamp vision and everything

"Did anyone else see that?" I ask as ness moves away from Edward

"Yeah" my baby agrees with me

"Yesss" Emmett and Rosalie say together

"Yup" Alice giggles

"May I ask, Nessie, where did you learn kiss like that?" Edward asked, if he were human he would be as red as a tomato

Bella's mouth formed an o shape, and her eyes literally popped out

"Well…" Nessie blushes, very, very red "I…well…there's…this guy…at school…and…"

"We will talk about this later" Bella said, very motherly, Nessie looked equally as shocked as all of us are

"So my turn" she says awkwardly, she looks up and smiles

"Jackson, truth or dare"

"Dare" I say instantly

"Okay… I dare you to go to Emmett and sit on his lap, and start flirting with him, telling him that you think he's sexy and see if he gets hard" Nessie gives me an innocent smile

"Damn, Emmett you really have corrupted my daughter, I should have listened to you aria" Bella says, her eyebrows raised so high they might come off her head

"Okay then, easy peasy lemon squeasy" I say because I'm pretty sure that's what the youth of today say. If this was back in my time, first we wouldn't be playing truth or dare, we would be doing some grown up work except for aria who would be playing outside, and second girls really didn't flirt or boys for that matter, and thirdly both me and Emmett would probably get sent to the jail, gay people were very looked down on

I sat down on Emmett's lap, very seductively

"hey Emmett" I say batting my eyelashes "you look ever so sexy today" I flick my hair smile at him trying not to laugh, the rest were laughing to hard "have you been going to the gym, and your tan, your so hot, Emmett" I continue "it's too bad your taken, I can give you so much, sexy" I finish and get up

"Did I feel something, Emmett" I say back to my normal voice, teasing him

"No! I'm not gay" he flips me off we all laugh, Suzanne shakes her head in disapproval

"Okay, Bella truth or dare?"

"Truth" she looks at me warily

"What is your best experience, in bed with Edward" I ask

"Um…" she looks at Edward out of the corner of her eye "when I was human, on our honeymoon, the first time" she looks down, Edward smiles sadly, I wonder what happened

"Not enough detail, did you say it was your first time?" I ask, everyone giggles

"Yes" she looks down, embarrassed

"Very moral, everyone clap for Bella" I say "Edward were you a virgin too, surely you couldn't have been, I mean, com'mon"

"I was" he fiddles with his thumbs

"And lets clap for Edward" we all laugh

"Wait… so Bella and Edward are married?" Suzanne askes

"Crap" I mutter "sorry, that's my fault, so sorry" I mutter so only vampires could have heard

"Shit" Edwards mutter, running his fingers through his hair

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" Bella grumbles, wow, this is big if Bella is swearing

"We're in so much trouble, when Carlisle gets back" Emmett says, nervously

"Yes, yes we are" jasper says, frustrated

This is not good

"Yes, we are married" Edward answers Suzanne

"And you're still in school?"

"Yes" Bella nods, holding Edwards hand

"Why not wait, what's the rush?"

"We love each other, and we were ready" Edward answers in a obviously tone

"we will talk about this when your father comes back" she sighs "I'm tired, I'm going to bed" she get up to go, finally, nobody enjoys her presence although her faces she makes are quite funny.

**A/N how did you like that? A full chapter in Jackson's pov, I actually did that! And what about Nessie's mysterious boyfriend, what about her and Jacob, what is everyone gonna say. And now Suzanne knows Edward and Bella are married, what's up with that, huh**

**I hope you like this chapter, cos I loved writing it, review, they make me happy and faster updates. **


	12. really?

S pov

I hear a shriek; I immediately sit up and look at the alarm clock 1:04 am. I get up and open the door, the hallway lights are on and the children are peaking their heads out, I see jasper and Carlisle rush to Emmett and Rosalie's room, I follow them.

"it's okay, Rosie, your all right, no one's going to hurt you" jasper is saying to a curled up Rosalie in the corner, Emmett is fast asleep on top of the covers in his boxers, he doesn't even twitch. Jasper finally calms her down with the tiniest bit of help from Carlisle, I honestly don't know how they live with him as their father, and he's rubbish

"Is she going to be alright?" I ask Carlisle

"In a bit" he nods "you can go back to sleep" I go back to my room and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

My alarm goes off at 7:00 am, another day of hard labouring these brats; I cannot wait until my week to run this house

I first go to Rosalie's and Emmett's room.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up" I shout, Rosalie screams and thrashes around, fighting the duvet

"get off, get away" she cries, jasper comes rushing in, giving me a dirty look, he calms Rosalie down really quickly, I wonder what happened to her to make her like this, maybe I'll ask jasper later.

"Emmett wake up" I start shaking him, he groans

"Fuck off" he yells "fucks sake, every single morning, I swear down I'll…." He doesn't finish his sentence, he just gets up-with his eyes closed- and walks to the bathroom, very disrespectful

I go to Bella and Edwards room, they are by far the easiest to wake up

"Wake up, Isabella, wake up, Edward" I shout

"Fucking hell, jeez woman" Edward jumps out of bed with Bella in his arms

Then I remembered they were married, but they are so young, I really need to talk about that with them and carlisle

"Leave us alone" Bella grumbles, getting out of Edwards arms making her way to the bath room

I go to reneesme

"Wake up, wake up" I shake her

"Okay, okay, I'm up, I'm up" she throws her hands above her head and quickly goes to the bathroom

I go to Alice and jasper's room, only Alice is there

"Wake up!" I shout, as soon as I go to shake her she starts screaming

"Get off" she yells "noooo" she shrieks

"Bitch" Emmett directs glares at me as he comes to calm down his sister, I walk out

Last and certainly least I go to aria's and Jackson's room, only aria is in there, sleeping, she actually looks cute believe it or not

"Wake up, wake up, wake up" I yell, she starts screaming

"Nooooo, help, nooo" she shrieks

"oh my gosh, you are seriously the worst" I hear Edward say to me, he glares at me and starts shushing aria and telling her it's all all right, reneesme comes in straight away and they calm aria down together

"Fuck you" aria says to me when she has calmed down

"Language, aria" Edward says

"Sorry, she's so…" aria curls up her hands in fists "urrghh"

"I know, I know" he says, I go out, maybe they need a bit of sibling time, they look so cute all three of them.

I go downstairs to the kitchen, it smells funny. In the kitchen I find jasper and Jackson smoking, the kitchen is full of smoke since they didn't bother to open any windows, what does their mum teach them!  
>"What do you think you're doing?" I ask them putting my hands on my hips<p>

"Smoking" jasper shrugs

"Getting high" Jackson grins

"You didn't even bother to open any windows" I wasn't going to argue again about drugs, it is going to change soon "and you're not ready for school"

"We're not going to school today" jasper says

"Yes you are" I start opening windows "go get ready" jasper shrugs and walks off

"Did you wake up aria?" Jackson asked me, I nod

"Coolio" he clicked his heels and danced off, definitely high

I leave all the windows in the kitchen open so the smoke could waft out, I go to the living room to see where they are. They were all there but still in sleeping clothes

"Why aren't you ready, you're going to be late" I take a deep breath, even Carlisle was there casually reading the newspaper, in a beige jumper and dark coloured chinos, so hot.

"We aren't going to school" reneesme sighs, looking annoyed

"Are you allowing this Carlisle?"

"Yes" he doesn't look up from his newspaper, I sigh

"Why, it isn't good for them to miss school"

"It's one day, for fucks sake!" Alice shouts

"Mind your language" I warn her, she flips me off

"Okay at least get dressed" I try to compromise

"Nooooooo" Rosalie shouts, glaring at me as usual, she is such a bad influence on aria, I'm pretty sure aria had the same manners as Edward when she came her, but Rosalie has corrupted her, same with reneesme

"What are you going to do today then?" I ask

"We are going to do a rules of engagement marathon" Emmett jumps up from his seat

"We never agreed to that" jasper shakes his head "let's just play games" he suggests

"You are not taking time off school to play or watch" I say, they roll my eyes

"You can't tell us what to do, this week you have to go by our rules" Bella moans, I ignore her

"I want to speak to Edward and Bella with Carlisle also please" I say, Edward sighs exasperated

"Oh my…" Bella shakes her head

"Um okay…" Carlisle shrugs and gets up looking at Bella and Edward curiously

We go to the dining room

"so I asked you to come because I wanted to discuss Edward and Bella" Carlisle still looks confused, maybe he doesn't know their married, but surely he would, I mean they couldn't have done it behind his back "why they married at such a young age" Carlisle looks annoyed now

"Okay" he sighs

"Edward, why did you decide to marry Bella now and not wait?" I ask him, using the questions from the counselling I do

"I love her" he says looking vacant

"The same question goes to you, Bella"

"What was the question" she asks looking blank, oh my… these children

"Why did you decide to marry Edward at such a young age?"

"I love him" she smiles a little

"Why couldn't you wait?"

"What's the point in waiting, I want to be with her forever and ever" Edward winked at Bella, both her and Carlisle chuckled why are these people so weird

"Same here" Bella says quickly afterwards

"Did you want to do it, is that why" I ask

"No, we love each other!" Bella shouts at me outraged

"I think we are done here, there are no more questions to answer so we're going" they both get up and walk out

"I have to go to work so… I'm off" Carlisle says, what kind of father is he, he spent barely anytime with them and he didn't even talk to them.

I go back to the living room, they are watching a movie but they pause it when I come in.

"What the fuck!" Emmett shouts at me

"What the serious fuck!" aria repeats

"You're so nosy, so annoying" Jackson shakes his head at me

"I can't even…" Rosalie says

"Anyways, we're going out" I see they are dressed in proper clothes

"And I'm coming" I smile

**A/N I hoped you liked that, I have an updating schedule now, and I'm going to try to stick to it, I update this on Thursdays or Mondays. This also means you may have some longer chapters, give me a yay in your reviews if you like the sound of that.**


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